Monday, May 2, 2022

Blog 10 - When is it time to end a bad relationship?

 It is often said that technology is supposed to make our lives easier, and in many cases I believe this is true.  Think of the first passenger airplane that reduced the time it took to travel from New York to California from a week to just a few hours.  The automatic dishwasher, the printing press, even the prehistoric invention of the wheel were all technologies that helped people save time and effort.  Advances in technology have historically been adopted when they have the benefit of making something easier.  Generally speaking, this led to healthy relationships with technology, as people were able to free up time and energy to pursue other interests.  Early technology had to be healthy, else the technology would not have survived.  For example, if the early invention of the lightbulb turned out to be unhealthy for most people (causing fires or insomnia), then that technology would not have been adopted.  It would have been scrapped and eventually replaced with something better, something that promoted a healthy relationship.

In the mid 20th century, the emergence of computers allowed us to solve very complex problems such as space travel, banking, science, medicine and more. By the mid 1990s, as the power of computers increased, and the size and cost decreased, any household could have a personal computer. When the internet became widely accessible in the late 1990s, computer technology had the power to make lives easier for the common family.  For example, you could send a letter, photo or message to a friend or family member digitally and instantaneously.  You could read an article or book without having to go out and purchase a newspaper or book. People were now able to print, read, research, study, communicate, design and create from the comfort of their own home.  There seemed to be a healthy relationship between technology and humans for the most part.

 

However, as digital communication expanded, the emergence of social media began to rise in popularity.  Classmates can now have virtual “reunions” on platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. We can now engage in group discussions across wide geographies, which wouldn’t have been possible before social media. Mobile devices came along in the mid 2000s which allowed us to take this new digital / social form of communication with us everywhere, and it shows.  You can not look anywhere in a public place and avoid seeing people with their head down in their phone, endlessly scrolling, commenting, liking, checking their status, etc. The once generally healthy relationship with technology began to spoil. Anonymity behind a keyboard enabled some people to say things they might not otherwise say in person, causing online arguments and bullying which consume countless hours of peoples lives. 

 

The same young people who are most susceptible to online bullying are also often the ones who haven’t learned when or how to end bad relationships, and they keep coming back for more. If you ask most people how they would spend their ideal perfect day, I bet very few of them would say “I will spend 4-6 hours of the day behind a screen.”   Yet, according to the website SocialBuddy.com, a quarter of all teens spend over 8 hours per day on social media! Talk about a relationship with technology!  And I think most of them would admit that it is not a healthy relationship for them.  Is there even any time left in a day to engage in a real, healthy relationship? So why do they continue to consume their lives in this unhealthy relationship when they know it is not part of what they would consider their “ideal perfect day”? Like most other unhealthy relationships (food, drugs, smoking, even love), the answer is addiction. These social media apps are designed and monetized by attention, by eyes on the screen, by time spent scrolling.  They are designed to become addictive, and the worst part about it is most people already know this.  Addiction is a difficult problem to solve for many people, but it is solvable. Any time is a good time to end a bad relationship. It starts with acknowledging the problem, putting a plan of accountability in place to reduce consumption of digital content, and ultimately realizing your ideal perfect day, every day.



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Blog 10 - When is it time to end a bad relationship?

  It is often said that technology is supposed to make our lives easier, and in many cases I believe this is true.  Think of the first passe...